Sunday, December 23, 2007

It's Over

Our wee fighter made it to 7wks, 5 days. I was feeling very tired and a bit crampy all day yesterday, and during the night I miscarried. It started around 8pm with the main loss around 3.30am. Such a mix of emotion - sadness obviously, but also a certain relief that it didn't drag on for weeks and weeks. Physically the loss has been fairly easy - some cramping and pain but nothing unmanageable. Emotionally, it's a different story. However, being prepared has helped and while we are sad, we are also aware that there was something not right with the pregnancy, and it's better to lose it at this early stage rather than later.

Thank you all for your love and support, kind comments, texts and emails. It's been a bumpy road...and the only positive we can take from it is that we actually were able to get pregnant once, so possibly it may happen again.

Thanks again.
Happy Christmas.


Blogger Happy Mama to Three said...

Paula, I journeyed over from A.I.Pregnancy to send you my thoughts here as well. I am so so sorry that this little one was not meant to make it any further. You sound so much at peace and just in a time of grief. Oddly my first and second miscarriages just gave me the strength to think, that if I can get pregnant, surely I can eventually stay pregnant.

I preay that your time will come very soon. Perhaps by next Christmas there will be a small one in your arms. My last miscarriage before Rachel was the day of the Hanging of the Greens church (the Sunday after Thanksgiving). My heart forgives connects decorating at church and decorating our tree is connected to that beautiful babelet who didn't come home with us. It isn't a sad memory anymore.

Hang on Paula. You are still in our thoughts and prayers.

(feel free to wander over to my blog)

2:57 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I'm so sorry, Paula.

I've had a number of miscarriages and those little lost ones, will always be in my heart. I think it's a blessing that you got to hear your little bean's heartbeat. hang on to that that you have been able to get pregnant and that it may happen again. Don't lose sight of that hope.

Big Hugs.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Rachel Inbar said...

I'm so sorry. Being ready helps, but it is still a shock when it happens...

I remember wondering whether it was OK to laugh at things I found funny or ironic on the day of my miscarriage. I decided that it was & I think that helped too...

Hoping this will be your last loss,

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. Preparation can be one thing but the experience can still be a bit of a shock. You are in my thoughts.

6:40 PM  
Blogger M said...

Oh love, I'm so very, very sorry.... sending you loving and healing thoughts.... x

12:41 PM  
Blogger AJ Chase said...

I know that you don't know me but I feel keenly your words. I've had many miscarriages and am infertile myself. My first miscarriage occurred after we'd tried for over a year to get pregnant with no success. That was a shock and horror. But by the third miscarriage I kept getting pregnant because I wanted a baby but I just never pictured I would actually stay that way. But eventually they were able to give me synthetic hormones and I finally had my daughter. So sometimes it can be hard and seem defeating but if you have it in you keep pushing through and something will come someday.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, it was a bit of a relief that it didn't drag on longer, but it still hurts.

11:13 AM  

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