Will they...won't they???

What a day. Went for my scan only to find that two of the smaller follicles had grown 1mm each. That's pretty much unheard of given the dosage of Gonal F I have been on (412.50 per day)

So, I have a 17mm, two 15mm, a 14mm and a 12mm. The doc wasn't too happy and decided he wanted to consult with some colleagues before deciding what to do, so I drove back to work thinking/crying/worrying...

He just called and they have decided to trigger me tonight. His exact words "this is uncharted territory, you aren't responding like anyone else has, we might only get 2 eggs, and they might not fertilise". I'm glad he was honest with me, even though it hurt to hear it.

But, as he said, this is our only chance, and our last chance, so we really aren't losing anything (except $$$) by going ahead. So...we trigger tonight, retrieval on Sunday, and hopefully we will know on Monday/Tuesday whether we have any wee embryos to implant back.

I don't know what I feel. I feel heartbroken that I am resistant to the medication. Upset that despite all the stimulants I've pumped into myself we have such a poor result. Sad that only one ovary is working. Despairing when I think of the odds. But a little hopeful that maybe, just maybe, something will work for us. I am sure I'll regain some positivity soon.