Sleep...

Grace slept through the night last night. Ten hours! Only the second time she has done that - she did it one night down at Christchurch. There were a few murmurings about 1am and then 3am but I just "shusssshhhhhed" from my bed next door and she went off again.

She is really enjoying her formula, holding the handles of her bottle and pushing it away when she is done, or pulling it in when she wants more. I'm expressing twice a day in an effort to keep my supply up so when I am off the anti inflammatories I might be able to do a night feed. My back is still pretty sore though, so not sure how that will go.

We spent two mornings at daycare (just an hour each time) this week and she loved it. Even the second time when I left for an hour, she was fine and happy. She's fascinated with the other children - and loves watching their singing time. And the carers are all really nice and she gets lots of cuddles and stimulation. She spent the afternoons at the office with me, and then Rupert picked her up and took her home so I could work a bit later. Two really big days for her, and she did just great, very few grizzles and mostly just happily playing or being cuddled.

So...next week she starts daycare for two days each week. While I get back into a routine of being at the office and not doing everything from home. I think it will make life a lot easier, and I hope it will take some of the load off Rupert - he has been doing so much while I try and keep up with work and Grace! I might even have to cook him dinner!

She really is just lovely. Wakes up smiling and cooing, squeaking away, and she is communicating much more about what she wants or doesn't want. Body language is such a beautiful thing! She can almost roll over now - and tummy time is still a favourite, as is swishing around in her bath. It's all good really!

We're home!

Well...conference in Christchurch was amazing! I work for a large real estate company (Harcourts) and each year they do it better - this year was no exception. Some 1100 attendees, some amazing speakers and workshops, Stan Walker (winner of Australian Idol) was the opening act, and Li Cunxin (Mao's Last Dancer) was the closing. If you ever get the chance to hear Li - take it. A beautiful story and a wonderful message. It was great seeing friends from other branches and head office, and making some new mates! And just such a good feeling - there really is a nice culture of teamwork and friendliness in the company.

I managed to get to most things - Rupert and Grace had a good time hanging out and her wee Harcourts onesie went down a treat (a gift from friends when Grace was born). Daddy also bought her a Crusaders (Chch rugby team for my overseas readers) top, which she looks really cute in. She was just very happy the whole time we were away - fell asleep on the plane there and back, and in the taxi, and she was great for the nanny while Rupert and I went to the big Awards dinner. The franchise I work for did very well, and a very good time was had by all! A few glasses of wine (don't worry, I expressed and chucked it) and I could have danced all night, but fortunately the nanny was only booked till 1am which saved me being too sore headed. As it was, we only had 3 hours sleep before we had to get up, pack and get to the airport. It was so fun having a night out with Rupert though - and a bit of boogying!

The only bad thing that happened was the hotel had lent us a portacot - which was very low, and had high sides. It started to hurt my back almost immediately, so I had Rupert getting Grace out but the damage had been done and one morning when I got out of my chair at breakfast I felt my back go. Ouch! Those who know me well will know that my back and I have had a long and difficult relationship, and it was one of the things I was most worried about when I was pregnant. So...I was taking painkillers and they weren't doing anything, and it was really time today to make the tough decision to go onto anti inflammatories and stop breastfeeding. Or have this kind of pain for a month or more and not be able to do what I need to as far as work and home stuff and caring for Grace.

Grace has been taking a bottle of formula in the evenings for quite a while now - and I was finding that even though I tried to express when she was getting a bottle, I wasn't getting much. And, over the last couple of weeks I've had to top her up with formula during the day and it just seems like my supply isn't keeping up with her demand. Added to all that, she starts daycare in a week (for 2 days a week) and with my lack of success expressing it would probably have been time to stop feeding her anyway.

Sensible decision. I am really sad though, and have had a few tears. The first time I fed Grace I felt like I finally knew what my body was for. I was so very lucky - never any pain or problems, and I so loved the closeness and the quiet time we spent. I guess motherhood is going to be a whole series of these kinds of things - the letting go of each stage and letting her go on to the next. And we've done it for 18 weeks, and that's pretty good right? And at least with all formula we'll be able to keep a close eye on how much she is taking.

So. I'm having a wine right now. Just because I can!

Four months!

Four months today. And cuter and funnier and sweeter every day that passes. It's been another busy week, compounded by the fact that I was so excited about finally having some time free to go to coffee group, I turned up on the wrong day! Grace, as you can see, still enjoyed playing in her host Millie's toy! How embarrassing!

We managed brunch yesterday - went to check out my new office, and had a lovely brunch at my favourite cafe. Grace was a star - happy and cooing and drank her milk while we ate. It was really really nice to have a wee family outing. We got home just before the heavens opened and the thunder and lightning started!

Tomorrow we are off on the plane (a first for Grace) to Christchurch for my work conference - despite all the running around today trying to make sure I had everything I needed for Grace I am quite looking forward to it! Rupert is coming too so that I can attend some, or most of conference, while he has a break from work and looks after Grace. We have a nanny booked for Wednesday night so we can attend the big awards night dinner - also known as Frock night for obvious reasons!

Aside from all that I am well -I have an annoying cough left over from my cold, and I am a little tired and really busy with work and juggling everything madly! A few days break in a hotel room will be just good for all of us I think, no matter how busy it might be down there.

Sixteen candles...

One candle for each week! Tomorrow is Mother's Day. My first one ever, and certainly a day I never thought I would get to celebrate. I'm just happy - I don't care if I get a present or not - I have the biggest gift!

It's been an up and down week - busy with work, I've had a cold, and both Rupert and Grace caught it too. Grace has been pretty darn good, sleeping and feeding well - odd times of being unsettled but 90% of the time she is fantastic. We've had some really fun play times - she loves laying next to me on the bed while I read her books, and as you can see above she is getting very strong! And still as talkative as ever, I've been trying to record it but the moment the camera comes out she clams up. And poses. Yup, my daughter is destined for modelling I think!

Rupert has been doing such an awesome job with her - I left them alone last Friday night and again on Tuesday morning when I went to work functions, and also on Saturday morning when I went to the office. It's really nice for the two of them to have some time together, and it's great to be able to head off and do what I need to without worrying.

In other news, we have decided on a daycare place for Grace - nice people, handy to home, and lovely clean and bright facilities. She will start in June for 2 days a week. I think it will work out well - it will actually mean life will be a little easier for all of us - I won't be madly trying to get all my office work done in snatches while she sleeps, and Rupert won't be coming home to all the chores! And she will get to hang out with other babies which she loves! I'll miss her terribly, but it is a good compromise all round I think! And if it really doesn't work for us, then we figure something else out!